A Broken Heart

This past week, I hurt someone I care about.

In a vulnerable moment, my preadolescent son shared with me the name of the new beauty in middle school with “almond eyes, silky hair and perfect skin” whom he had begun admiring from afar.

In an absent-minded moment, my son’s entrusted secret escaped my lips before I could reign it in. I shared his very private news with my neighbor.

Though my son said nothing and did a masterful job at playing it cool, I knew at once that I had crushed him. I would rather die than hurt him, but hurt him I had. And worst, I might have jeopardized the wonderful trust that exists between him and me.

As soon as we had a moment alone, I began to ask his forgiveness. Though hurt, he was quick to forgive. I wasn’t willing to let myself off the hook so easily, and spent the rest of the evening ostracizing myself for letting him down. I apologized more times than I could count, until finally, Josh said, “Mom, it’s over. I’ve forgiven you! Forget about it!”

Why is it that we hold onto our failings and sin so much longer than we need to? Just like Josh, our Father stands ready to forgive and embrace us. Unfortunately, we’d often rather cower in the corner, unwilling to fully receive His grace.

A.W. Tozer had something to say about this…

Brother Lawrence expressed the highest moral wisdom when he testified that if he stumbled and fell he turned at once to God and said, "O Lord, this is what You may expect of me if You leave me to myself."

He then accepted forgiveness, thanked God and gave himself no further concern about the matter. The Warfare of the Spirit, pp. 102-104

I can’t get over the grace of a young boy toward his loose-tongued mom. If only I could fully grasp that same type of grace extended to me by my Father, gratefully receive His forgiveness and move on!

Shepherds, will you share with each other how you work toward restoration with God when you have walked away from Him?